Presenting

I hold a special place of anger for this..... 

PowerPoint

Now I can understand why it is used quite extensively, a good tool for holding 'small' amounts of writing to talk through to people using excessive charisma and enthusiasm to make it a good learning experience, maybe even entertaining.

Now if you are like me, you will have come across 2 people like this ever (and if you have seen me, I am probably one of them (that's not arrogance, just for some reason the voice i put on is entertaining). I know above is a very idealised view of the usage but I am sure we have all had the more typical experience.....

The bludgeoning through slides with enough wording to be the opening chapter of a novel. I think most of us could survive this if the delivery of said words wasn't so monotone that it sounds like a drone of wasps stuck in your ear.

Now I can't justify just complaining about this, as I mentioned before, I am not the best at this whole presenting business. I may come across as entertaining but that is only because of my 'style'. I know the voice I use is exaggeratedly snobbish with a word rate that is beyond patronising. Honestly to. type. how. I. talk while presenting, you need. to. follow all. of the full stops in. this. sentence. Also the level of articulation used on every word almost requires a certain amount of spitting, handy tip: don't sit in the front row.

Also it has been observed that it looks like I am doing the bleep test (eurgh P.E. in school) moving side to side with an almost unparalleled level of energy.

I know that this is hard to imagine so I will quantify this for you

Imagine you are in a presentation being taken by an elocution instructor standing as if he is half way through a verse of 'I'm A little teapot' moving side to side as if he were on a slalom course.

Starting to get the picture? Now throw in a waistcoat and you have the full image

Understand the entertainment value yet?


Also if you like what I am doing, do recommend me on stumbleupon. I would like a panel show appearance in the near future.

Social interactions

I will be honest from the start on this one, not my strongest suit.  I am as likely to end up curled up on a couch with a Christmas tree on my back as I am trying to what looks like an invisible limbo.......

Look I'm not actually joking this time

There you go Duncan

 
I mean yeah I hold my own, some would even call me funny or entertaining (more the blind and deaf, (but a good review is a good review right?)not trying to come across desperate....) but I am catastrophic when it comes to anything more than a social gathering.

I feel bullet points are in order
Here (in a very organised form) are my main problems

• I am THAT guy that always seems to try too hard, i mean i have never understood this concept personally, I am not sure in a night club you can try too hard at dancing and trying not to make a complete fool of yourself. Ok I try to dance, but rhythmically you are more likely to find a salmon leaping up a waterfall with more grace and dexterity than my 'signature' dance moves
• now I think the waistcoat look is cool, suave and sophisticated. not a lot more to say on that, just trying to bring that look back pretty much single handily....
• I rely heavily, ok solely on my ability to be vaguely humorous to seem interesting. I can hear you all think at once 'ahh hhaaa there is an inherent flaw in this plan' which I would respond with 'well bloody done einstein' Night clubs are loud. To be more like Einstein here is a basic formula
  loud music + most likely very drunk people + a decent joke 
  = Me feeling like a right loser as the joke falls flat on it's proverbial face
  Right back to normal.
  
  I mean with girls I am completely useless beyond being an acquaintance. I am sure we all have that girl that we find stunning, great fun to be around, smart, just generally brilliant that we hang around, chat to, have banter with even go out with from time to time. Now imagine that situation as a person self described as a 'hopeless romantic' combined with cheesy, soppy, sickly complimenting skills topped off with a penchant (ooo french) for completely messing up any situation and you get something resembling me.....
  
  No this isn't a sympathy sponge post.
  
  Just its annoying being so unparalleled in being single....