Social interactions

I will be honest from the start on this one, not my strongest suit.  I am as likely to end up curled up on a couch with a Christmas tree on my back as I am trying to what looks like an invisible limbo.......

Look I'm not actually joking this time

There you go Duncan

 
I mean yeah I hold my own, some would even call me funny or entertaining (more the blind and deaf, (but a good review is a good review right?)not trying to come across desperate....) but I am catastrophic when it comes to anything more than a social gathering.

I feel bullet points are in order
Here (in a very organised form) are my main problems

• I am THAT guy that always seems to try too hard, i mean i have never understood this concept personally, I am not sure in a night club you can try too hard at dancing and trying not to make a complete fool of yourself. Ok I try to dance, but rhythmically you are more likely to find a salmon leaping up a waterfall with more grace and dexterity than my 'signature' dance moves
• now I think the waistcoat look is cool, suave and sophisticated. not a lot more to say on that, just trying to bring that look back pretty much single handily....
• I rely heavily, ok solely on my ability to be vaguely humorous to seem interesting. I can hear you all think at once 'ahh hhaaa there is an inherent flaw in this plan' which I would respond with 'well bloody done einstein' Night clubs are loud. To be more like Einstein here is a basic formula
  loud music + most likely very drunk people + a decent joke 
  = Me feeling like a right loser as the joke falls flat on it's proverbial face
  Right back to normal.
  
  I mean with girls I am completely useless beyond being an acquaintance. I am sure we all have that girl that we find stunning, great fun to be around, smart, just generally brilliant that we hang around, chat to, have banter with even go out with from time to time. Now imagine that situation as a person self described as a 'hopeless romantic' combined with cheesy, soppy, sickly complimenting skills topped off with a penchant (ooo french) for completely messing up any situation and you get something resembling me.....
  
  No this isn't a sympathy sponge post.
  
  Just its annoying being so unparalleled in being single....